(Written by Chris Gough,
Ben Jarvis and Ruaridh Guy)
Cast
James
Rainer
Matthew
Fray
Steph
Hannah
Ben Jarvis
Ruaridh Guy
Chris Gough
A Kind Of Tragic (It is kind of tragic)
It is kind of tragic
It is kind of tragic
It is kind of tragic
One dream one soul one prize one goal
One golden chance of what could be
It is kind of tragic
One good degree that leads the way
No sports scientist can win this day
It is kind of tragic
That bell that rings on Palace Green
The thought of leaving shatters dreams
It is kind of tragic
It cannot be eternity
The day will dawn of sanity
Is this kind of tragic?
It is kind of tragic
There can be only one
This doesn’t last a thousand years
It’ll soon be done
This blood that hurts inside of me
I'm hungover constantly
It is kind of tragic
The pain that drills inside your mind
Your essay won’t get done on time
It is kind of tragic
It is kind of tragic
This doesn’t last a thousand years
It’ll soon be it’ll soon be
It’ll soon be done
This is a kind of tragic
There can be only one
This doesn’t last a thousand years
It’ll soon be done, done
Tragic, it is kind of tragic
It is kind of tragic
Tragic tragic tragic tragic
Ha ha ha it's tragic
It is kind of tragic
Flash (Stash)
Stash a-ah
Saviour of the Univers’ty
Stash a-ah
We’ll wear every bit of it
Saviour of the Univers’ty
Stash a-ah
We’ll wear every bit of it
(- Seemingly there is no reason
for Durham students wanting so much stash.
- What’s happened to our stash?
- Only Enoch Cheng, formerly Services
Manager, has provided any explanation.)
Stash
It's a miracle
It's a miracle
(-The new stash order forms are no
cause for alarm.)
Stash
Many types are possible
It's for everyone of us
Stash for everyone of us
You could save if you bulk buy
At Aidan’s, at Collingwood,
At John’s-it's so mighty:
Stash
Stash
(-Enoch, have you phoned Armstrong
UK about our stash?
- I will do that in a minute
achuwee.
- Make sure you hand in your
cheques and stash order forms to the JCR Post-box.)
Stash! A-ah!
(- I can’t get through to
Armstrong ong ong ong)
Stash! A-ah! It’s for every one of
us.
Just a shirt
Just a polo shirt
We know, or there’s the hoodie
With the hood embroid’ry
No-one but Services
May order in the stash
Ooo-oh
Ooo-oh
(- Stash! Stash we want you! But
we only have fourteen days left ‘til the end of term!)
Stash!
Radio Ga-Ga (Talking Bollocks)
We sit at home through day and
night
Watching TV and talking shite
And everything we ever say
Seems so inane in every way.
We give you all the best in-jokes
Some for women, but most for blokes
We make you laugh -- we make you cry
We make you feel like calling by.
To Fanny we’re a background noise
Making jokes while she’s shagging boys
Who just don't know or just don't care
About the banter that we share.
We have the time, we have the power
We make bad jokes at all hours.
Bo-ollocks.
All we do is talk bol-locks
Talk about nothing
Talk about fuck all
All we do is talk bol-locks
Talk about nothing
I hear you say “what's new?”
OK then, we’ll bitch about you!
Double negatives and Franglais
That is how we spend our day
We find adverts so humorous
Like that hotel that’s ‘fabulosh’.
Let's hope we never get funny
Our banter’s worth lots of money.
So stick around, we might amuse you,
When you grow tired of the Revue
We have the time, we have the power
Watching TV and talking shite
And everything we ever say
Seems so inane in every way.
We give you all the best in-jokes
Some for women, but most for blokes
We make you laugh -- we make you cry
We make you feel like calling by.
To Fanny we’re a background noise
Making jokes while she’s shagging boys
Who just don't know or just don't care
About the banter that we share.
We have the time, we have the power
We make bad jokes at all hours.
Bo-ollocks.
All we do is talk bol-locks
Talk about nothing
Talk about fuck all
All we do is talk bol-locks
Talk about nothing
I hear you say “what's new?”
OK then, we’ll bitch about you!
Double negatives and Franglais
That is how we spend our day
We find adverts so humorous
Like that hotel that’s ‘fabulosh’.
Let's hope we never get funny
Our banter’s worth lots of money.
So stick around, we might amuse you,
When you grow tired of the Revue
We have the time, we have the power
We make bad jokes at all hours
Bo-ollocks.
All we do is talk bol-locks,
Talk about nothing,
Talk about fuck all.
All we do is talk bol-locks,
Talk about nothing,
Talk about fuck all.
All we do is talk bol-locks,
Talk about nothing.
I hear you say “what's new?”
We’ll bitch about you!
We have the time, we have the power
We make bad jokes at all hours
Bo-ollocks.
Another One Bites The Dust (Another One Washes Up)
Under Pressure (Exam
Pressure)
Oh God no!
Oh God no!
It’s exam time…
Pressure, pushing down on me,
Pushing down on you – stupid exams.
Exam pressure, [inaudible],
Splits your head in two,
As students in books.
Oh God no,
Oh God no:
Revision,
Revision.
It’s the terror of not knowing what your exam’s about,
Watching your best friends screaming “Let’s go out!”.
Tomorrow, there’s an or-al.
But there’s too much noise coming from streets.
Revision!
Oh Revision!
Another One Bites The Dust (Another One Washes Up)
Bicycle
Race (Bicycle hoarding)
Bohemian
Rhapsody (Crescendo)
Crazy
Little Thing Called Love (Crazy Ol’ Vileda Glove)
Don't Stop
Me Now (Graduation? Penultimate song)
Fat
Bottomed Girls (Flat-bottomed girls)
Flash
(Stash)
I Want It
All (Chris)
I'm In Love
With My Car (Fray)
Radio Ga-Ga
Somebody To
Love
Under
Pressure
Turn On The
TV
We Are The
Champions
We Will
Rock You
I Want To
Break Free (I want to make tea)
TAKE A
CHANCE ON ME
DOES YOUR
MOTHER KNOW
THANK YOU
FOR THE MUSIC
DANCING
QUEEN
GIMME GIMME
GIMME
SUPER
TROUPER
MONEY MONEY
MONEY
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